I live with a bigoted, racist, sexist, classist, ableist homophobe who believes everything she is told by Foxnews, and “important Republicans.” I don’t even have responses for much of the shit she says because it is so over-the-top blatantly false, and she adamantly insists that she is correct and I am “uninformed,” that my brain just vapor-locks. I don’t understand how a person could be so stupid as to automatically believe all of the things that she believes – things which are verifiably false (like her beliefs regarding taxes, or even for-goodness-sake, that Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz are the obvious authorities on everything they ever cover in their shows and if I or anyone else disagree, well then we are wrong and hateful people). That’s right: I am a horrible, hateful person because I point out that people on talk shows are not necessarily arbiters of scientific fact.
Oh yes, I get to listen to lectures about how there is a “war on Christianity,” and how the government is going to come down to our house and physically take extra tax money out of her pockets even though she makes a point to pay all of her taxes. (I don’t understand where she got this fucking idea and how she doesn’t realize that it doesn’t make any sense at all.) And of course I get to hear her hatemongering comments about the President and the First Family.
I hate the way she thinks and I hate the things she says. I hate the way I feel like I’m walking on eggshells in this house. But she is an old woman and I would feel bad for leaving (though I’m a sure as hell going to have to get over that. It is not my problem, she is not actually alone, and it isn’t going to actually hurt her any. She’ll probably talk shit about me after I leave anyway, like she does about every single one of her tenants except those who still bow-down to her), and the rent is unbelievable. My apartment is amazing – beautiful and large – and the rent (which includes all utilities and cable) is so low that it boggles the mind.
I obviously would only leave when I have a job that would allow me to afford another place, but the thought of it still hurts. The money I save in rent could be paid toward my student loans, put in savings, pay for groceries, any number of things. But I’d have to live with a woman who, though kind and sweet to those in front of her, has these hateful beliefs which she has no qualm about spreading. I both like her (when she’s not spewing) and despise her.
That is generally the crux of it. These hateful people aren’t horrible monsters all of the time. They have complex lives like all the rest of us. I feel bad for wanting to not be around someone who is so hateful when she isn’t ONLY hateful. I don’t want to have to move again so soon, and I don’t want to have to pay almost double in rent/utilities per month to live in a place that isn’t as large/nice as my current apartment, and with roommates when I currently live alone (my apartment is attached to a house).
I guess right now I’m saying that hopefully I will get a job that will keep me busy enough to not have much time to spend around here interacting with her. Though that also would suck because that is reduced time to enjoy my beautiful apartment. There is no winning in this situation at all, is there?
As soon as I can afford to pay more in rent I will move to a different place. I need to think of myself.